Fame and Sorry
by TheBigChillQueen
Summary: Beetlejuice gets famous as M.C. Hammerhead while trying to help Lydia find a talent for the talent show. BJ's fame makes him 4get his loyalty to Lydia, leaving her helpless and unsure of what to do.  Will Lydia be able to get her best friend back in time?
1. Beetlejuice: Fame and Sorry Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER 1:**_

"Attention, girls," Miss Shannon announced loudly to the mass of young female students that sat in the rows of pews of the Play-house in front of the stage on which she stood.

The girls looked up at Miss Shannon attentively, especially a twelve year old, ebony haired goth.

"Hey, babes!" a gruff voice startled her.

The girl gasped and looked down at her history book. It opened on it's own to a page that had a picture of a Con-federate soldier, with a cutlass pointed outwards, sitting on a gallant steed.

The soldier suddenly became a filthy, blonde-haired, grey-skinned man who wore a pin-striped soldier uniform and a black hat.

"Beetlejuice!" the girl exclaimed in a low whisper.

"That's once, babes! Say it two more times and we can have a blast in the Neitherworld!"

With that, Beetlejuice exploded into a frenzy of fireworks.

The girl yelped loudly and slammed the book shut. Everyone's eyes were now on her.

"Miss Lydia Deetz," Miss Shannon scolded. "What is the meaning of this interruption?"

"Sorry, Miss Shannon," Lydia hung her head in guilt. "It won't happen again."

"I should hope not. Now, if I may continue," Miss Shannon cleared her throat. "The deadline for the try-outs are this Thursday. So practice, practice, practice!"

She dismissed the girls with a bell.

Lydia headed to the door but a snooty voice made her stop.

"If you think you have a shot at winning, Lydia Deetz, then you're, like, sadly mistaken!"

Lydia rolled her eyes and turned to face the would-be Aristocrat herself, Clare Brewster, who stood behind her with a broad, pearly white grin that was perimetered by glossy, pink lips. She was looking at her reflection I a handheld mirror with great pride as she fluffed her volumized blonde hair. Her enormous blue eyes twinkled.

"Oh yeah?" Lydia rolled her eyes again. "What's your talent; applying lipstick while brushing your hair?"

Clare glared knives into Lydia, then scoffed.

"Like I would waste my precious time telling _you_. I just know, like, that my talent will totally, like, blow everyone else's away…..especially _yours_!"

Clare laughed haughtily and exited the Playhouse, leaving Lydia, who was fuming by now, alone.


	2. Beetlejuice: Fame and Sorry Chapter 2

_**CHAPTER 2:**_

Lydia groaned loudly in frustration as she paced quickly on the carpet of her room. Beetlejuice watched her vent from the safety of behind the glass pane of the mirror on Lydia's dresser.

"Hey babes, you need to chill out," Beetlejuice said, transforming into a snowman. Snow began to fall on his side to add emphasis. "Forget about that stuck-up airhead! You need to figure out what you're gonna do for your talent! You are joining the talent show, right?"  
"Only to prove Clare wrong!" Lydia replied, crossing her arms as she stood on the rug in the center of her room. Her face became saddened. "Well, I would if I _knew_ what I was gonna do…"

Beetlejuice reverted back to his abnormal, gross self and grabbed the collar of his pin-striped suit.

"Look no further, Lyds," he waggled his eyebrows. "I can teach you all sorts of things! Things that are certain to make you a winner!"

Lydia smirked. "BJ, the things you do are impossible for a mortal like me to try, remember?"

"I'm not talking about those things, babes," Beetlejuice said slyly.

"Then what are you suggesting?"

"Say those magical B-words and I'll be more than happy to tell ya!"

"Okay, okay," Lydia laughed.

She then quietly shut her door and walked to her balcony window, pulling close her skeleton curtains, making the sun-kissed room dark and gloomy as she began the strange summoning ritual.

"Though I know I should be wary…."Lydia waved her hands over the small flame that was lit inside a fancy, glass bowl. "Still I venture someplace scary! Ghostly hauntings I turn loose, Beetlejuice…."

The said ghost slicked back his hair, smiling smugly…

"Beetlejuice…."

…..then cracked his knuckles….

"Beetlejuice!" Lydia finished.

"Iiiiiit's showtime!" the Ghost With the Most cackled as he flew out of the mirror.


	3. Beetlejuice: Fame and Sorry Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3:**_

Lydia sat on the wooden couch of Beetlejuice's insurmountably messy living room as the con-man stood in front of her, his hands behind his back and a devious smile on his face.

"Who better to teach you talent than…."

In a flash and a puff of smoke, Beetlejuice vanished, only to be replaced by a large, bipedal hammerhead shark with a black and maroon striped vest and slacks. His sharp, green toothed mouth grinned at Lydia. A microphone was held in one of the shark's front fins.

"M.C. Hammerhead?" Lydia exclaimed.

"You got it, Lyds," Beetlejuice as Hammerhead smiled with his eyes.

"How is he going to help?"  
"Did you forget that it was M.C. Hammerhead who saved our skins when we were trapped on that pirate ship?" Hammerhead asked.

"You mean the one you ran the cruise ship you scammed us on into?" Lydia raised an eyebrow. "And if I recall correctly, you were also the one who nearly made us both shark food!"

Hammerhead pulled at his vest nervously and chuckled.

"Well….uhhh….who's quick rap got us out of that jam?"

Hammerhead became a jar of jelly. Lydia laughed.

"Okay, okay. You can help! But what is M.C. Hammerhead going to teach me?" she asked.

Hammerhead reverted back to himself and put a fin around Lydia's shoulder.

"He's gonna teach you your talent, babes!"

"But, the only thing Hammerhead knows how to do is….." Lydia stopped midsentence and gasped, her eyes widening. "Beetlejuice! I can't rap!"

"Duh, that's why Hammerhead is here to give you lessons!" Hammerhead winked at her. "I'll show ya the ropes."

Two thick strands of rope appeared beside Hammerhead.

Lydia rolled her eyes at his corny pun.


	4. Beetlejuice: Fame and Sorry Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4:**_

Lydia and Beetlejuice stood outside the Neitherworld's Funny Bones Comedy Stop- the place where some of the best (and worst) performers, comedians, and entertainers go for a slim chance of being recognized.

After paying the two-stank fee (which consisted of Beetlejuice taking his boots and socks off, causing the doorman to faint from the horrific odor), they entered.

Apparently Beetlejuice had already scheduled a gig; he was the third entertainer to perform.

The host of the comedy shop- who was no more than a grungy-looking skeleton-walked up onto the bone-shaped stage and began to address the audience.

"Weren't the other two guys a shoe-in?" the host said, making a failed attempt at a pun. But all he got was a disgruntled stare and groans from the audience. Crickets added to the awkward silence.

"Alright, alright….welcome the next entertainer…" the host read the name on the card. A disgusted look crossed his face.

Everyone knew what that meant.

"Beetlejuice," the host stuck his tongue out and threw the card away as he exited the stage.

"Ta-da!" Beetlejuice exclaimed as he poofed on stage.

There was only one person clapping; Lydia. Once she realized that, she stopped and laughed sheepishly.

"Thank you, thank you," Beetlejuice bowed left and right. Someone threw a rotten tomato at his face. He calmly licked it off with his long, green, striped tongue and smiled. "Hey, thanks, pal! I skipped breakfast this morning! Now, the only reason I'm up here in front of you eggheads is to help out my best friend, Lydia!" Beetlejuice pointed her out, which made her lower herself further in her seat; her face beet red.

Beetlejuice then transformed into M.C. Hammerhead, which surprised the audience, for they had never seen something like him before.

Hammerhead cued a musical score and one began to play to the rhythm of his rap:

"_Good evening ladies and germs,_

_This is M.C. Hammerhead, your deep-sea rapper._

_Listen to my rhymes, don't question my terms,_

_And better not be a napper!_

_My best pal, Lydia, needs a gig._

_She needs a rap to win against a snob called Clare,_

_So I'm up here to help her make it big!_

_She needs to beat Big-Hair,_

'_Cause the only talent she knows_

_That will be a real fail, is how to be mean_

_And powder her stuck-up nose!"_

M.C. Hammerhead then began to break down into a profound break-dance (in which his limbs literally broke apart then reattached) that he ended in a daring split.

The crowd of the Funny Bones Comedy Stop were thunderstruck with awe, including Lydia.

Soon the entire place erupted into a roaring applause. Hammerhead bowed in dignity as roses started to be thrown at him.

Lydia ran up onto the stage and hugged him tightly, a big smile on her face.

"Wow, Beetlejuice! That was incredible! Maybe even better than your last rap!"

M.C. Hammerhead changed back into Beetlejuice and the ghost knelt down to put an arm around her shoulders.

"See, babes, the key to performing in front of a crowd like this is just to imagine you're alone!"

"But I'm obviously not, BJ," Lydia said. "You know what happened the last time I had to speak in front of a crowd!"

"But things worked out for you near the end, right?" Beetlejuice asked as he hopped off the stage, helping Lydia down, and walking through the still cheering crowd.

"Barely," Lydia rolled her eyes. "No thanks to your funny bone!"

Beetlejuice laughed nervously then led Lydia to the exit.

"Come, on, babes. Let's go to the Freaky Eye-Scream Parlor. Tomorrow I'll help you create a rap that'll blow the competition-and Clare-away!"


	5. Beetlejuice: Fame and Sorry Chapter 5

_**CHAPTER 5:**_

Early the next morning, Lydia knocked on the door of Beetlejuice's roadhouse. There was no reply.

"Beetlejuice?" Lydia opened the door cautiously, but soon found out that it was difficult to push it all the way ajar due to the fact that there were millions of colorful pieces of paper and envelopes; all addressed to the Ghost With the Most.

A tall, Francophone skeleton who wore red jogging shorts, and sneakers, a French beret and a blue shirt that seemed a tad small for his structure was desperately trying to make his way through the mess.

"Whoooaah!" he exclaimed as he tripped over the buried end table and fell forward; his skull popping off.

Lydia gasped and caught it.

"_Merci_, Lydia," the skull said in a thick, French accent.

"Jaques, are you alright?" Lydia asked.

"_Oui, mon ami_," Jaques responded as his body pulled itself together and made its way over to Lydia. He took his head and put it back on.

"Do you know where Beetlejuice is?"

"He said zat he 'ad a business appointment to get to," Jaques responded.

"Buisness appointment? For what?" Lydia was stunned and confused.

"Zat I do not know, but I do know where went."

"Really?"Lydia exclaimed.

"_Oui_, he went to ze Neitherworld Talent Agency."

"Oh no…." Lydia smacked her forhead and groaned. She had a feeling his gig at the Comedy Stop was going to cause a problem like this. And knowing Beetlejuice, Lydia was positive his greed would dig him into an abyss in which she would have to pull him out of.

"By the way, Jaques, what are all of these letters for?"  
"Apparently, Be-atlejuice 'ad gotten famous overnight some 'ow. These are all fan-mail."

Lydia's jaw dropped.

"I better find Beetlejuice, quick!"

Lydia then ran out of the door and to the back of the Roadhouse where a cute, yellow car was parked.

The car-whose headlights were actual eyes and a broad, grinning mouth above his front bumper-beeped upon seeing Lydia.

"Hey, Doomie!" the goth hugged him lovingly.

The car called Doomie panted like a dog and beeped again.

"We have an issue. Beetlejuice became famous overnight and is at a talent agency! We have to stop him from doing something stupid!" Lydia finished explaining the situation to Doomie and paused, not only for a breath, but to think about what she just said. "Well knowing, BJ, he _would_ do something stupid, anyways."

Lydia hopped into the driver's seat. Seatbelts-which were really two cobras- strapped her in.

"Let's go, Doomie!" she cried.

Doomie honked a cavalry charge and sped off, gliding smoothly over the road.


	6. Beetlejuice: Fame and Sorry Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6:**_

Doomie parked outside the Talent Agency- a massive, awkwardly constructed brick building. It's top-most floors were veiled by thick, grey clouds.

"Wait here, Doomie," Lydia told the cute, yellow car. "I'll be back with Beetlejuice…..I hope."

Lydia then ran through the glass doors and up to the reception desk.

"Uh, excuse me," she said, struggling to peer over the countertop that reached higher than her up-do.

The blue-skinned face of a pretty young ghoul in a beauty pagent dress and sash-which read Miss America- looked over the counter and down at her.

"Oh, hello there, young lady," the ghoul smiled politely. "How may I help you?"

"Um, I was wondering if you seen a ghost named Beetlejuice come in here?" Lydia asked hopefully.

The receptionist checked a list on the clipboard.

"I'm sorry, but there's nobody here by the name of Beetlejuice," she responded.

Lydia decided to try again. If it didn't work this time, then she didn't know what else to do.

"Okay, what about M.C. Hammerhead?"

This time, the receptionist didn't bother to check. A bright smile flashed on her face as she wheeled her chair out from behind the desk. It was then Lydia noticed that the receptionist was missing her entire lower half. The receptionist then pushed Lydia towards a door that had a large, gold star on it. 'M.C. Hammerhead' was etched into it in neat, fancy letters.

"He's right in here, darling. But if you want his autograph, you have to get it quick! Mr. Hammerhead is a very busy man."

"Yeah, I bet he is," Lydia sneered as the receptionist wheeled away.

Lydia knocked on the door, which opened automatically just as she did. Lydia's eyes widened upon seeing the dozens of make-up artists, servants and agents all swarmed around one area. Lydia didn't have to guess on who was the center of all the attention.

"Beetlejuice?" Lydia squeezed through the mass and saw her best friend reclining in a make-up chair. But he was no longer his original self. Instead he was…..

"Hammerhead, babes. Call me M.C. Hammerhead," the rapping shark answered in a stuck-up tone, not even bothering to look up at Lydia, which infuriated her.

"Beetlejuice! It's me!" Lydia cried, startling everyone but Hammerhead.

"Me who?" This time, Hammerhead looked up and nearly fell out of his chair. "L-Lydia! W-what are you doing here?" he chuckled nervously.

"I'm here to get you!" Lydia replied angrily, placing her hands on her hips. "You promised me yesterday that you would help me with my talent for the talent show!"  
Hammerhead scratched his head. "Talent show? What talent show?"

By now Lydia was boiling mad. She grabbed Hammerhead's vest and practically yelled into his ear.

"THE PEACEFUL PINES TALENT SHOW!"

Hammerhead's eyes spun in separate directions as he was dazed from the intensity of Lydia's scream.

"Oh, _that_, talent show. Sorry babes, I forgot."  
"Yeah, I bet you're sorry." Lydia rolled her eyes.

"Hehe….well what are we waiting for, Lyds," Hammerhead led Lydia towards the door.

"Now that's more like it," Lydia said, relieved.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss," a sly voice stopped them.'

A short, grey skinned, brown suited man (or creature) appeared before them. His broad, thick-lipped mouth dripped with oozy, green slime.

"Chester Slime?" Lydia and Hammerhead exclaimed in unison.

"I would love to be your manager, Mr. Hammerhead," Chester said.

"Manager? You mean…..someone who does all the dirty work and I get all the glory….and money?" Hammerhead's eyes became dollar-signs.

"That's right," Chester nodded. "Of course, you'll need to sign this here contract."

Chester Slime held up a managing contract.

"Careful, Hammerhead," Lydia whispered. "Contracts can be tricky!"

"Ah, don't worry, babes," Hammerhead waved her warning away. "I know what I'm doing."  
"That'll be the first," Lydia remarked.

Hammerhead then put a fin around Chester's shoulders.

"Listen, Chester Slimebucket," he said. "I'm not signing anything till I know what I'm signing for!"

"Oh, don't worry, Mr. Hammerhead. This contract merely states that I become your manager and receive 10% of all trades."

"10%, eh? I like that deal!" Hammerhead rubbed his fins together greedily.

He produced a pen and was about to sign his name, but Lydia snatched the contract away.  
"Hey, babes! What are you doing?" Hammerhead gasped.

"Contracts also have fine print that you need to watch out for," Lydia responded as she began reading. But Chester Slime snatched it out of her hands roughly.

"No one likes a nosy brat," he snarled, snapping his fingers.

Before she knew it, Lydia was snatched up by two, enormous brutes that were security guards.

"Take the trash out, boys," Chester Slime smirked icily.

"What? No! I'm with him! Beetlejuice!" Lydia looked at her friend for assistance.

She gasped, horrified, upon seeing Hammerhead not paying any attention to what was happening just three feet behind him. He was too absorbed in signing the contract.

Meanwhile, a yelling Lydia was being tossed out of the agency. She got up in time to see the guards slam the door shut.

Lydia frowned, a tear rolling out of her eye.


End file.
